Self control

 Self control is sort of a vague term. It can mean different things to different people. The theories regarding those is also context specific. Theories on what it is, what are the components are many and very interesting.

 I believe one of the things which can be cultivated and can learned is that, I remember when i lose my self control- i spiral out of control- losing my self, leading to more lose of self control. Well, the brain can learn- so we can learn self control. I think Sidharth was correct in many aspects of Psychology - from our sensory organs dont give us correct picture to self control. 

So what part if self control do i have to improve to be successful. Again you can define success as you like it.  So what do i have to learn to control- delay gratification. If you want you can google marshmallow effect . The experiment was replicated in different cultures and seem to have got the same results.

Marshmallow experiment is a funny experiment- you give a child a marshmallow and say- if  you eat it after a certain amount of time (say 15 minutes) you will get another or more. The researcher leaves the room. Most of the child just eat eat them. some after sometime of looking at it. Some children have patience- and dont eat it. Well these children develop into do better in life. 

This self control of not looking for instant satisfaction- joined phd , tell them you have to plan for 2 years to plan the study, you know people who dont do it- are key board phds. looking for short cuts- dont worry your success if going to come through other ways, we are a very corrupt society so we can achieve success also through other means. But if you want to succeed with a different definition- delay your gratification. 

There are many parts to self control- but this is one important factor and i think it can be learned and taught to our children. Well, in the middle age i dont know how many in my age group can learn- but our children can be taught. But please note- one factor of a complex phenomenon- the self control.

I think when we buddha said, there is no self and if we can get a epiphany there is no sense - i think self control is easy. That guy had some wonderful insights than any other human- well may be darwin.

o, the tea is read- i cant delay that- cold tea is just ehhhh   

Self esteem

 I lost my self esteem some years back. It is a by- product of depression and well depression and self are in a vicious circle. The influence each other and make it worse. It is not that, it is always in the low- it feels like a cyclic weather. It goes up, down, plateaus and then it rains- thats the worst period- not the weather. 

I am reading and learning more and about these things and learnt something new and interesting. People with high self esteem, well as we assume over estimate what they can do- well i never did, probably my self esteem was not always high in the first place. Some of my friends have pointed out i have always been afraid to be "positive". I could not believe- well it seems so true.

The advantage of depression is - "we" see the world for what it is. We dont over estimate. We see the true picture it seems. What a depression thing isnt it. The POV from my mind when i am depressed is sometimes bleak. I see the world as a horrible place where we are all hunting each other- well thats the true picture isnt it. 

If you think you have a higher self  esteem- you are lucky - you may be more happier. But that does not guarantee any success.  People have pointed out i always see the "flaw" in what they try. I dont encourage them. Well- sadly thats true. I dont- I rarely something positive about what people have achieved- this is relation to PT and all walks of life- hahaha. One of the reasons i hate all politicians, I am assuming (cant stop writing in passive voice). I usually or have rarely said positive things about people achievement. It may stem from my bleak way of seeing the world, but also i am not impressed that easily. That includes what i think i have achieved- weather real or perceived. It seems I like to ruin self esteem of people.

I used to have high self-esteem, but it was lost as a result of depression. This depression and self-esteem are intertwined, influencing each other and making things worse. It's like a cyclic weather pattern that goes up, down, plateaus, and then crashes. The worst part is when it rains.

I have been learning more about these topics and discovered that people with high self-esteem are often assumed to overestimate their abilities. But this was not the case for me, as I never overestimated my abilities, which suggests that my self-esteem was never really high to begin with. My friends have pointed out that I have always been afraid of being positive. I couldn't believe it at first, but it seems to be true.

One advantage of depression is that it allows us to see the world for what it is, without overestimating. Our perspective becomes bleak, and we see the world as a terrible place where everyone is hunting each other. Although this may not be a positive viewpoint, it is a true one.

If you have high self-esteem, you are lucky, as it may make you happier. But it does not guarantee success. I have been told that I always see the flaws in others' attempts and rarely say anything positive. This is true in all aspects of my life, including my relationships and my opinions about politicians. I don't like to ruin people's self-esteem, but I rarely praise others' accomplishments, even my own. This may stem from my bleak view of the world, but it also means that I am not easily impressed.

So people have accused that i am ruining the self image of students or PTs. Well guilty as charged. I have tried, but as they say the mouth wants to say the frontal brain is not allowing. There are few people i have said or told in my lectures as PTs who have done good work and achieved professional excellence. The common PTs i have named in many talks are: Cynthia, Prakash and Vasanthan. Sadly Vasanthan has still not achieved what he should.

To achieve something it seems you dont need a good self esteem- it is self control. How true was Siddharth. He said you can learn self control and see the world for what it is. but i am digressing- self control is what makes people achieve. I think the success of Prakash is because of his self control. I know the rejections, the not so moving professional life, not so successful studies- he had the self control not to lose his self and keep on. So if you want to achieve true greatness not some IAP- best PT award or some toilet paper publications - learn self control.

I think the first step is for us to learn whats sef control- lets start       .