Self control

 Self control is sort of a vague term. It can mean different things to different people. The theories regarding those is also context specific. Theories on what it is, what are the components are many and very interesting.

 I believe one of the things which can be cultivated and can learned is that, I remember when i lose my self control- i spiral out of control- losing my self, leading to more lose of self control. Well, the brain can learn- so we can learn self control. I think Sidharth was correct in many aspects of Psychology - from our sensory organs dont give us correct picture to self control. 

So what part if self control do i have to improve to be successful. Again you can define success as you like it.  So what do i have to learn to control- delay gratification. If you want you can google marshmallow effect . The experiment was replicated in different cultures and seem to have got the same results.

Marshmallow experiment is a funny experiment- you give a child a marshmallow and say- if  you eat it after a certain amount of time (say 15 minutes) you will get another or more. The researcher leaves the room. Most of the child just eat eat them. some after sometime of looking at it. Some children have patience- and dont eat it. Well these children develop into do better in life. 

This self control of not looking for instant satisfaction- joined phd , tell them you have to plan for 2 years to plan the study, you know people who dont do it- are key board phds. looking for short cuts- dont worry your success if going to come through other ways, we are a very corrupt society so we can achieve success also through other means. But if you want to succeed with a different definition- delay your gratification. 

There are many parts to self control- but this is one important factor and i think it can be learned and taught to our children. Well, in the middle age i dont know how many in my age group can learn- but our children can be taught. But please note- one factor of a complex phenomenon- the self control.

I think when we buddha said, there is no self and if we can get a epiphany there is no sense - i think self control is easy. That guy had some wonderful insights than any other human- well may be darwin.

o, the tea is read- i cant delay that- cold tea is just ehhhh