experience

Experience has taught me that every day, I realize how much of an idiot I was the day before. The illusory passage of time, which the brain perceives as experience, constantly reshapes its neural connections, leaving me feeling foolish for my previous ignorance. Despite my belief that I am getting closer to the truth, time always manages to remind me how far I truly am. 

Every day, I realize that I was an idiot the day before, even in instances where objective truth is easy to discern, such as in medicine or physics. The illusory passage of time allows the brain to make changes in its network, making me feel like I was foolish in the past. For example, the other day, I learned about how electricity travels, and I immediately thought about how foolish I was before. I even questioned the quality of education that my physics teacher received. In the early 2000s, I was very confident in my knowledge of stroke rehabilitation, and when I wrote my book, I felt that I was very close to the truth. However, now I realize how naive I was. It's not that my basic premise was wrong, but there is so much more to explore before I can confidently close the book.

If experience does not change us- it is either a seer life or an idiotic life.  If we achieve equanimity i suppose we dont have to change and feel let down by our self. But i am sure we are not going to. If we have given up or our mind is closed with self and have faith- then the brain is fucked up. If you have no feeling for others like many PTs in GH and you think sitting and cleaning the chair you sit in with your ass is important - then well probably you dont need to worry about your brain, you are already in heaven. If you are teacher and your notes are older than your child, or ppt is from website dont worry you are brain is fully developed you have achieved nirvana.

The illusion of time is real for the brain. It has to change as the context keeps on changing. It keeps on looking for ways to keep the person safe. So it is always finding ways to keep you safe, well as i keep on yapping not about finding the truth. So if you are doing the same thing again and again and people think you are working diligently the self will assume you are safe- why should it look for truth or challenge and waste energy. If you do for quite sometime the brain will change in such a way i will be resilient to change so there you go- you have achieved nirvana and the big ape you are have become a tortoise. 

Experience does not make us better- it is just time it can lead us in any random direction. Sometimes that random direction makes useful for others- sometimes for ourselves sometimes a useless tortoise. Of all these experience has a way of making your ego- the self larger and larger, hmm, i had those feeling- what a wonderfully useless feeling. The self is so happy but it is fleeting and you fall down with a thud.

Beware of time and experience is what I think is closure to truth. well as i said, i am pretty sure thats wrong, i will regret writing this. But now it seems closure to truth. The self wants to say this out loud even though it know it will regret it later. 

  love

Hariohm