shut up self

These are the thing i think is what it means not to have a self. The self accumulates a trillion identities and truths.  The self thinks these identities and truth are true- that's a weird sentence. As time goes by it assumes these truths and identities are the same as the self. identifies some truth which it mostly does not have any empirical evidence to say it true. Even if it empirically true why should the self think that is same as the self. I know these are all abstract and everyone keep on telling me- what is wrong with you can you write clearly.

Well, most of us identify self with loved ones. I get angry if someone says something about my wife or my son. Why? that is not me. When they do something spectacular- " I" am more than proud to say "they" are "my"  wife, son student. As though if i was not there they could have not done it. I am the parasite which is happy when the host is happy.
Wider. Most of our self identifies with the school, the college, some teacher- and happy when they are praised as a group. OO you went to IIT, oo your daughter cleared NEET- the self is so happy- as we are part of a elite group of people who did clear those exams. I am proud when my friends chidden clear those exams. That good you might say. You are proud for something you are not part of it- it may be less selfish. well there comes the problem.

The problem comes when "my" people my "creed" is attacked. If i say the PM is doing a bad job ( i know thats the softest i can go) or the CM is just horrible as the last one. I know some of our self is immediately jumping up and down- and saying, " this idiot will criticize everyone" or  " how dare you criticize mudi (no not a typo). well why are you defending someone who is not "you". why is your self offended when i say mudi is useless or the sun tv mafia is that and the earlier one just a joke. Why? we have become the group. we think our group is offended- i need to defend it- otherwise my ego will cry.

Well in recent times- i have understood if you tell the "truth" someone will be offended. Go and tell a person with a self which is stuck with a party, a creed, a god, a religion or a treatment cult- not they are wrong just say something innocuous like- are you sure this is the truth? they will pounce on you. well if you are the person who pounces on that- sorry the self is sticky- very sticky. My groups have gone- my sticky groups i have to kick off. thinking i have done these is making my self happy and me - come on you stupid ego. 

I think if you are not offended when someone "offends" your caste- which is the first thing we need to learn to understand illusory self- the self is on the right path. When i go to marriage from my mothers side the "proud" of being in a caste is so overwhelming you could think they discovered penicillin. When you leave that as a good person once told "u can make fun of my caste i have left it long ago. I think that a guy whose self is going towards being one. 

I should add making fun of my home town- i always thought part of my self- then i found, really no. it is just a town with people and poor waste management. It should not define my self- hence should not get hurt- you see that is what i think happens if the self is a illusion. That does not mean i am going to be quite if someone is acting like a little evil dog- as it does not affect me- we fuck no- but i should be aware i am a not going to change anything.

 

If someone makes fun of your religion- well i dont want to offend your self by actually saying it. get it? If you are defending a book by some bronze age uneducated people needs defence- i am peaty sure that book is not the truth. Truth should shine and make us happy- should not need social media wars or real wars. I slowly need to understand losing self is not going to happen- but i know how far i can go. leave it self- leave it- you will be alright. love everything- hate everything, but dont think thats your self 

leave the group- the self is slightly liberated. leave the group from political parties caste and others- well why is my self telling these things- it need to shut its mouth