I turned inside- i did not think i could bend my conscious like that. The teacher in the meditation gave that instruction once in a while to look inside- for the centre, for the thinker. It was nearly impossible. I did not know what to do.
Well yesterday i was standing out and looked inside. I dont know if that was what he meant, and to be truthful, i dont care. It was weird to that in the first place. You stare at the blackness and slowly something above you floats- the sound or a thought. truly weird.
Well, after an hour of mindfulness and could not stop smiling. I was flooded with some chemical which made me giggling. In philosophies i read being happy might be a risky thing after being euphoric, as it may be addictive, i really wanted to go back and sit and have that feeling. I was also slightly skeptical that i may do that. so after sometime- went back and did my mindfulness for another 45 minutes.
Long behold i could bend and see. The novelty has slightly gone but still so weird to see that darkness. It seems like changing the conscious i could bend my motor system i could bend my cognitive system. well i may be completely blabbering also- i could have just hallucinated sitting for hours with eyes closed. lets see what happens when i keep on doing.
well i have the beard, need to stop colouring my hair and i can already speak wherein no one can understand- so only one step to make money at last.
Love and confusion
Hariohm
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