Many people who hear i have depression, have 2 reaction. One is what? that guy who cares about nothing except for himself, the other- well i have not seen the other one.
Everyone including me thought depression is precipitate with something weighing your mind. That may be true. Everyone has some issues when they have clinical depression ( i use clinical depression as most of us will be depressed sometime or other for some reason- just look outside your house). The waiting room stories are from business issues (so money) to some young guy with issues with a girl and much more. Well it seems most of them are in my age group- hahaha. Other major group are post partum depression on which i have no idea- but assume it is worse 100 times than what i have gone through
Inevitably people ask me- what are you depressed about. They ask my wife what's eating his mind. Well, if you call m wife and ask her she will tell you- i don't know. Again that's a intelligent mature answer, which is difficult to say. Why? pray tell us?
Well we always want and think in cause and effect way. A causes B. what's the value of that, well evolution is based on having a cause and effect manner. This can be a wonderful tool, without which we would have never killed most of the planet and still think we are humans. Cause and effects help us avoid pain, disappointments and may be be effective. playing with fire is dangerous, but learn to use it judiciously. The teacher is a idiot better to avoid the class and sit in a movie theatre saved many people i think.
Sadly as our perception is always riddled with biases, we can never be sure of cause and effect. 5 of us l go to a ice cream shop and next day one gets cold and we think ice cream brought about cold, even though in the back of the mind you know virus caused it and we dont think why the other 4 did not get it. From the black cat, to good time to start the marriage- even though most of the marriages end up shitty, to every thing in our life our cause and effect are based on well, poor evidence or as they say not even worthy to say its wrong. I know your mind went to the perfect place of saying- well they are true sometimes, or well this idiot will talk like this as though he knows everything. well, its okay- if we can all see why we are all wrong we will all be humans rather than a bad wet robot.
well, so back to depression - in depression you can be sad of depressed without cause. Your sadness is a symptom with or without a trigger. Sometimes the trigger are obvious- some simple like someone did not say thank you or did not treat you as you expect. Sometimes it seems as i said the trigger (the cause if you could) can be some life altering issue.
For me, I have very limited things to worry. I have never worried about money even when i did not have any or had enough. Luckily my wife takes care of it - so we dont go bankrupt. I hardly know our assets or the returns from them- even though i do participate in investing properly with all my ability. So those are never my trigger- thanks mostly to my wife.
I have achieved what i set out as a target for my professional like- even though i could have been happy if i could achieve more- and i dont have any doubts with have my brain working i can do it- it is just medicine - any monkey can do and i have seen some monkeys do.
Dont have issues with family- i and my wife are just mad enough for each other. we can push each other and be always in love with each other. Our fights are legendary, but still we cant live without the other, The other issues lots of people have is with their child - luckily we have a kid who is intelligent than me- which brings so much joy to say it. He is self reliant and seems to bring no issues, that i keep on teasing him- why cant you do something stupid and the teacher call us. Alas no
But like every one who has lived for half a century- I have lots of baggage- some worse than most of you could encounter to vanilla baggage we all have. But many of my trigger are trivial, the sadness is many a times without trigger. Of course after you become sad the brain will take you on a tour de cortex to limbic system and you understand the content of your mind.
The lesson is dont be overtly worried about triggers, learn about the emotions it brings- from anxiety (which is a real downer) to anger. learn to manage them- learn to live with them, if you are family members have it- show them only one emotion as my wife has always showed me- show them love. They may not want your rationalization, pop psychology analysis or your judgement (o you did whaat- are you an idiot can of things). Just hear our ego go on and on about ourselves - as though nothing in the world is suffering more than us. Dont tell us there are many people with real problems in a judgmental manner and yours is small. The ego does understand that- if it did then it is not clinical depression. IF you cant listen to the rants about us- ask them to reach out to a professional. Dont worry the world is full of effect with no cause which can discern. And for all those who believe in a omnipotent, benevolent god - as god cant shower love- you the human has to do.
With love
Hariohm
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